What We Can Do For The Best 2015

As we count down the days to the sparkly night where we clink our champagne 
glasses and lip-lock our loved ones, resolutions are stirring in the back of 
our minds creating chaotic contemplation. What can we do better? What should we stop doing? What do we need to do more of? So, from me to you, here’s some 
food for thought!

1) Stop comparing.

I read something along the lines of don’t go comparing your chapter 4 to someone else’s chapter 20 or another’s highlight reel to your behind-the-scenes. It is especially easy to be guilty of this with Facebook or Instagram at the tips of your fingers while you scroll through your feed questioning what the heck you are doing with your life. Breathe, you are doing just fine. We don’t know what all is entailed in one’s journey, so let’s break the toxic habit of fooling ourselves with a skewed perception.

2. Stop blaming yourself.

“He/She didn’t call…maybe I opened up too much…”  This is where I want to shake my friends! Why do we project someone else’s insecurity or hesitation onto ourselves? Please do not ever apologize for being you or pause for validation. Hold yourself in dignity and grace and set the standard for the respect you want to welcome into your life. Start by showing yourself more of it.

3) Just do it.

(Thank you geniuses of Nike marketing.) Stop asking yourself if you should. Stop saying you will tomorrow. Stop the if-then hypotheses. As they say, procrastination is fear cloaked in nonchalance.

4) Be present.

We all would like to deceive ourselves into thinking we can multitask…but science has shown we are actually doing things in rapid succession. When you are there, get off your phone. Make eye contact and actively listen. Be in the moment instead of merely existing…whether it’s at a social gathering or in front of your clients. You have a lot to offer to the people around you and you never know what you might pick up on when you are fully there.

5) Be accountable.

Reflect on your actions and apologize when you are in the wrong. At the end of it, you will be far more respected and admired for your sincerity as well as less scrutinized for your mistakes. We are all human after all. 

“Apology is only egotism wrong side out.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

6) Discuss ideas.

Catch the Eleanor Roosevelt reference? It is time to tune out the petty background noise in your life and invest your energy and talents in your ideas. Tomorrow, the he said, she said dialogues will not hold any weight but the time you spent on your dreams most certainly will.

7) Scare yourself regularly and laugh at yourself too.

No, not the horror film kind of scare. The push your limits to soar kind. And when you stumble, don’t take yourself too seriously. It only causes wrinkles…and not the cute crinkly kind.

8) Most importantly, be positive!

One word. Neuroplasticity. Briefly summarized, the word encompasses the ability of your thoughts to rewire how your brain works. Seems complex, but you have all the power in the palm of your hand…or mind rather. It’s unfortunate that positivity often gets quickly dismissed as a cliche or too soft of a term to be taken seriously. However, multiple studies have shown the power of positive thinking in ALL arenas of life. Want to live longer? Want less stress? Want to be more solution-oriented? Want to be successful? Want to have more meaningful relationships? Want to be happy? Let’s spread the positivity and let’s start with ourselves.

Cheers! And as always, thank you for visiting #PositivityFilter,

-S

25 Things I Have Learned & Accepted As I Approach 25

1) It’s smart to plan and also to let go when life has other plans. 401K- smart. Your timeline for life events….let that play itself out. It’s usually best in the grand scheme of things.

2) H20 is your real bestie. It is such a simple thing and took me FOREVER to adopt into my lifestyle. Dehydration is the root of many issues such as weight gain, improper digestion, a loss of energy, dull skin, and the list goes on. Just drink the water, cleanse your body, and reward it for all the hard work it does.

3) People appreciate genuineness in business. Being in sales, my clients can spot a fake from miles away and they do not have time to engage in aggressive and fluffy banter. They appreciate when you get to know them on a personal level as well as their professional needs and concerns. Also, don’t forget to let them in on your life too—people love 20-something stories and giving their “been there, done that” wisdom!

4) Confidence is the sexiest thing one can wear. That overly-possessive aura and jealous face will not accent your Jimmy Choo pumps well. If you don’t believe that you own it, why would anyone else?

5) You should have purchased wine glasses after you graduated college. A Malbec in a Solo cup will probably make a wine connoisseur want to cry and if anyone find out, Napa just might put you on their ban list.

6) Your S/O is not psychic. Use your words.

7) Mother’s instincts are usually right. Whether if it is a gut feeling you are going to get that dream job or if that boyfriend of yours is a real bum, she always knows. They always know. Just don’t question it.

8) The way you react to things is directly correlated to how good of a life you will lead. Everything is a choice…be motivated or miserable, negative or cheerful, optimistic or doubtful.

9) If you don’t know how it was made, it probably isn’t that healthy for you. I’m definitely not a nutrition freak but the philosophy is simple. Limit processed foods, get a little bit of everything: your proteins, greens, fruits. When you’re 70 and on the dance floor while some of your friends have arthritis or are obese, you will thank me.

10) Don’t forget your Thank You’s. People always remember good manners 🙂

11) Many people don’t mean what they say, say what they mean, or do what they say. I’ll let you reread that. Got it? It’s unfortunate that individuals are not aligned in these aspects and as a result, they are usually unfulfilled in some way. Don’t be one of them and be in harmony.

12) Give yourself a half hour before bed without any emails or texts. It helps you relax and ease into a better sleep.

13) You will outgrow people in your life. Our priorities, preferences, and ideals change over the years so this is bound to happen. Don’t sweat it.

14) Don’t over think it, just do it. This is one of those I continue to work on…really let’s just all make a more productive use of our time.

15) If all else fails, smile. I’ve been in numerous uncomfortable or out of the ordinary situations that involved not knowing a soul in the room. Those pearly whites make you more approachable and easier to get into the flow of a conversation.

16) If you are open-minded, you are bound to learn and appreciate more around you. Always take up an opportunity to be exposed to something new.

17) Have a mentor and don’t let your ego in the way of asking for help. At one point in time, the person that you look upto needed guidance as well. It’s called paying it forward…

18) Never go to bed angry. That was our household rule growing up—so scream, shout, whatever you gotta do. As long as you hug each other and think about one thing you’re grateful for before you close your eyes.

19) Love can be subtle things. It does not have to be extravagant, huge gestures, or even breath-taking. You don’t have to instantly be swept off your feet, but rather it can culminate into something beautiful over time.

20) Pain most always makes you better. It causes an urgency to show you something with the status quo requires changing.

21) Your mind defines your bounds. Believe baby believe.

22) People may come and go, but you will never regret doing something nice for them. And plus, more good karma for you!

23) Puppies are just instant endorphin boosters. Bad day, look at pictures of these cute, fluffy, monsters…or better yet, get one!

24) It’s never too late to catch up. People appreciate when you think of them.

25) Chill. 25 is just a number. If you’re doing it right, you should just be aging well and getting more fabulous every year. Much like wine. Cheers to that!

Thanks for reading,

-S

Lens of Love Lessons

It is currently 8:13 PM and I am going over the past three years in my head as if it was a movie reel spinning repeatedly. Today is just one of those days…filled with reflections and contemplations. I’ve been thinking about individuals and the roles they have played in my life. I am a strong believer in that every person serves a purpose whether it is to teach us something, help us discover a part within us we were not aware of before, or overall assist in our process of evolution. Yes, we are constantly evolving…and becoming a better version of ourselves. 2.0, 3.0, and it continues.  One day, we hope we become that best version of ourselves with someone that stays by our side. The process of evolution though is a funny thing however. Sometimes, it lifts you so high in the sky and other times you are face flat on the cement. Beautiful, painful, CONFUSING!

A few weeks ago, I was speaking with my mother, who is also one of my closest friends, about my fears and inhibitions moving forward. She made it a very simple for me. As I said, “Ma, how do I not know that the next time I give something my whole heart and effort, that it won’t come back to sucker punch me in the face?!” (Don’t mind the imagery—but I mean, you get the idea.) She pointed out that I was looking at everything through the wrong lens. Every person, role, and relationship is an experience…it is a lesson. Don’t ask if the next one will be like the last one. But, ask what did YOU take out of it? Did your view on something change? What is something you are proud of? What will you do differently that will be better?  If you did not have these moments, you would not be the new, improved, version that you are.

But, much like the iPhone, it is important to remember….that with all these upgrades, we must not lose our core functionality.

We must not lose our unique essence in the turbulence. It was a reminder that I had needed. I had been trying so hard to be careful, too calculated, and simply put, a CLAM. A few things about me: I live in a way so I never have any regrets—I say what’s on my mind (with good intentions), I’m spontaneous, and I follow what feels right. I do not let fear hinder me from something I may desire and I push my own boundaries in that regards. For a while, I thought maybe my spontaneity was the issue and that was the reason I had undergone what seemed like a volcano explosion of pain. I thought that my way of living life was maybe a way of just causing trouble for myself. However, my view was jaded. My essence which is spontaneous, transparent (seriously, my facial expressions cannot hide shit to save its life), non-judgemental while seeing the best in others is NOT to blame. Instead, I had a few lessons of my own to learn along the way which would not have been possible without a few people.

So, treat the journey like different classes. It will continue to become more advanced and eventually one day, you will be standing on the steps of “Harvard Love School” with your degree in hand. Then, you will have to go and get your graduate degree (AKA Marriage) which has many classes of its own from what a few friends tell me….but that’s a whole other concept I have not yet grasped and I’m okay with that haha. You may get lost around campus, want to skip a class or two, and maybe even struggle with a few exams…but in the end, my gut tells me that diploma and the person giving it to me will be all worth it. 

As always, thanks for reading….

-S